Gay Christians are a minority of a minority. Those who have reconciled orthodox Christian doctrine today with gay marriage/partnerships are even fewer in number. This reconciliation is often a long spiritual journey.

It's perfectly normal and obvious that, the higher the level of personal connection, the fewer people are sufficiently compatible to meet each individual's needs and requirements. The marriage/partnership that God desires of us is the highest connection level there is between two human beings.

Thus, it is highly unlikely that a Gay Christian's potential mate will be close geographically. The number of persons available is proportional to the square of the maximum allowable distance. In other words, cut the distance in half, and the area encompassed (the number of available persons, neglecting uneven population distribution) is one-fourth, not just one-half. Cut the maximum distance allowable in four (say, from 2000 miles to 500 miles) and the "pool" of available persons is reduced to one-sixteenth, not just one-fourth. And, anyone living near a coastline or political boundary suffers an additional "penalty" of at least one-half; and in the worst case (such as San Diego), this penalty factor is one-fourth.

Crossing political boundaries, even if otherwise within a set distance tolerance, requires complete compliance with governmental residency and immigration requirements. This is difficult at best, and often not even possible. (We are exhorted to obey these laws as Christians, remember.) This further aggravates the problem of distance.

Hence, most Gay Christian dating and courtships involve long-distance travel, and if successful, relocation for at least one of the two persons. This poses special challenges. It is necessary to make a commitment decision not on getting to know one another in person slowly over a period of time, but on extensive telecommunication for screening, followed by a decision to make an agonizingly brief personal visit; which has to be the basis for a final decision.

On the positive side, it is often possible, if handled intellegently, to learn a great deal about a person from online and voice telecommunications. This is especially true for those who have extensive Internet and/or electronic file publications (photos, writings, art, other creative works) available to share. Indeed, it's possible for a deeper and more comprehensive understanding of a person to occur this way than which actually often occurs with just in-person dating with a local person.

However, there remains the dilemma of the need to make a major decision about a strong commitment, based upon an agonizingly short and intensive period of actual personal interaction, with at least one of the two persons involved necessarily being away from his/her home environment.

Does anyone have any tips, experiences, advice, or other insights into how to deal with and handle this agonizing but almost unavoidable situation?

To make matters worse, at some point, long distance travel is required of at least one of the two people, to meet in person. It is thus not possible to follow the intent of one of the primary safety rules for online dating, stated at http://www.rainbowchristians.com/news/-7-Tips-for-Online-Dating-  which is (paraphrased) "The first meeting should be in a public place." The intent of this rule is that neither person should make a substantial commitment of money, time, privacy, or other resources for that first meeting.  In a long distance situation, that is inherently impossible.  The closest approach possible is for both persons to make equal total sacrifices to meet, taking into consideration differences in work, financial, and other parameters. But even that compromise requires trusting the other to correctly declare these parameters.

Worse, meeting at a location that neither person wants to relocate to largely defeats one of the two purposes of the meeting. In a long distance trip, not only is the other person being evaluated, but the locational environment for the person that is to relocate is also evaluated. It's possible for the person to pass, but the locational environment to flunk - or vice versa. Meeting at a third location that is functionally 'equidistant' for the two persons means still another trip is needed to evaluate the locational environment. This all too often is simply impractical for time and work and/or financial resource constraints.

Is it safe to even consider a long distance relationship situation at all? The nightmare scenario is to travel a long distance, and the other person not even show up - or worse, show up but then inflict malice upon the vulnerable traveler. And, if it's not safe to consider long distance dating, then should Rainbow Christians even continue to exist in its present form?