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bradleyds75

posts: 12

Mar 17, 2009 22:08    Quote
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So a good topic for me- I have been chatting with this guy (not from this site) who lives in Fort Lauderdale, and I here in Austin. A super fun person to talk to. Started out with long emails, then Y!Im, Text messaging, and now phone calls.  How do you keep yourself in check? You know, I find it so easy to fall for this guy- but we haven't met in person yet. I know we are both hoping that the chemistry is great when we meet hopefully in April, but obviously, we don't want to mislead each other and end up very disappointed either. I am one to guard my heart but somehow it seems he is penetrating my best defenses and that scares me, and i can tell, it scares him too.

Any ideas? Other than meeting asap? We are trying to work it out to meet up april 3-5.

Hope everyone is well...

Bradley in Austin

waytogoman

posts: 3

Mar 21, 2009 22:58    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

Bradley,

I think you need to consider how important is appearance to you.  For some guys, appearance is practically everything.   For other guys, they are far more concerned about how intelligent the guy is, and his personality, and his faith, and then looks arent so important.  Then other guys are somewhere on the scale between the two extremes.    For some guys, they want their bf to be close to their age, some like older guys, some like younger guys.   There are lots of variations.  You need to determine where you fit on these scales.   If looks are very important to you, then you need to meet in person right away.  If you are more concerned about his heart, spirit, personality and faith, then you can wait a little bit to meet.   I would say though that most of the time, you ought to meet the person physically before you decide if you are really a match.   When you meet in person, and spend some time together, then you can really get a feel for the reality of the person and know whether or not you are attracted to each other.   Just knowing someone online is like knowing them only about 30%.

 

Geoff

bradleyds75

posts: 12

Mar 25, 2009 09:16    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

I totally agree with you. The phone calls have slowed down alot- we are meeting next weekend so I guess we will see what happens. I guess you can only talk so much about stuff before meeting up.  If nothing else, we will be good friends hopefully.  For me, I care alot more about internal stuff but i do want someone close to my age/maturity level who is not a pushover if that makes sense.

Bradley,

I think you need to consider how important is appearance to you.  For some guys, appearance is practically everything.   For other guys, they are far more concerned about how intelligent the guy is, and his personality, and his faith, and then looks arent so important.  Then other guys are somewhere on the scale between the two extremes.    For some guys, they want their bf to be close to their age, some like older guys, some like younger guys.   There are lots of variations.  You need to determine where you fit on these scales.   If looks are very important to you, then you need to meet in person right away.  If you are more concerned about his heart, spirit, personality and faith, then you can wait a little bit to meet.   I would say though that most of the time, you ought to meet the person physically before you decide if you are really a match.   When you meet in person, and spend some time together, then you can really get a feel for the reality of the person and know whether or not you are attracted to each other.   Just knowing someone online is like knowing them only about 30%.

Geoff

MGayforGod

posts: 3

Apr 07, 2009 00:25    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

Hey Bradley,

 

I hope that your meeting went well.

 

Long distance relationship are unfortunately a common challenge for us gay Christians because we're fishing in a smaller pond than most.

 

I have tried a long distance relationship, which didn't work out...but it wasn't the distance that made that result.  It was the fact that he wasn't really ready for a relationship because he still hadn't let go of his ex.

 

If you do want any other advice, I would be happy to dispense it!  Of course, feel free to discard any of it.

 

Michael

bradleyds75

posts: 12

Apr 12, 2009 17:35    Quote
Points: 0   Vote

Hey Bradley,

I hope that your meeting went well.

Long distance relationship are unfortunately a common challenge for us gay Christians because we're fishing in a smaller pond than most.

I have tried a long distance relationship, which didn't work out...but it wasn't the distance that made that result.  It was the fact that he wasn't really ready for a relationship because he still hadn't let go of his ex.

If you do want any other advice, I would be happy to dispense it!  Of course, feel free to discard any of it.

Michael

Thanks Michael- the meeting did go well.  Tryin to figure the rest out now. Thats not the easy part...Part of me wants to move there. Chemistry was really awesome.  Im just seeking God's will for my life...I know He can show me the way.

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