There are countless opportunities for mistakes, slip-ups, faux pas, and blunders throughout the planning, preparing, and actual meeting stages.  

We phone too often or not enough, arrive too late or too early, overdress or under-dress, tell bad jokes and laugh too loud at unfunny ones.  What’s worse, even with the best intentions, we sometimes make these mistakes without even realizing it.

There simply is no universal, fail-proof formula to guarantee a successful date.  While you can’t expect all your dates to go perfectly as planned, you can certainly set yourself up for success.  Listed below are my top 5 gay dating tips:

1. Be confident, not arrogant.  People are attracted to those who project confidence and self-assuredness. Confidence is knowing what you like and what you don't like.  It's about knowing who you are and being comfortable with your values and goals.  It's about being true to yourself and not being dependent on your date's opinion of you.  Project this confidence by looking directly into your date's eyes when speaking to him or her.  When you feel confident and good about yourself, your date is more likely to feel good about you.  

2. Relax and enjoy yourself.  You may consider finding a life partner to be serious business and even intimidating, you just need to remind yourself that dating is meant to be fun, an informal chance to get to know one another better, even if only fractionally better.  Forget that it’s a date and do try to leave your high expectations and false personas at the door, without forgetting to bring your sense of humor with you.  If your date partner is not interested in you or vice versa, it’s not the end of the world.  There are more singles just around the corner (and on this site!).

3. Plan ahead and get there a bit early.  While it’s fun to be spontaneous every now and then, planning can make all the difference when it comes to a successful first date.  You should strive to get at least some idea of your date's likes and dislikes and then proceed to put together a list of activities that you can both enjoy.  Map out exactly where you plan to go and make arrangements ahead of time.  This will make it transparent that you put some thought into the evening.  Try to arrive a little early, you’ll not only score points for punctuality, but you give yourself a chance to gather yourself, dry your sweaty palms, fix your hair, and last but not least, breathe.   

4. Dress for success, while keeping in mind the occasion and venue.  Being well-dressed not only makes you look good, but also makes you feel good and helps to instill confidence.  Trust me, you don’t want to be the guy wearing Crocs or open-toe sandals at a four star restaurant.  

5. Ask questions, listen, and be generous with the compliments.  Compliment your date early and often.  Let your date know how good he or she looks to start things off on the right note.  Compliment your date on his or her smile, attire, humor, intelligence, etc., assuming he or she actually possesses one or more of these qualities.  Ask questions and listen to stimulate conversation.  Good topics for date conversations include: work, books, movies, music, sports, and hobbies.