The answer is easy: Ask for a date without actually asking for a date. Does that sound confusing? There is no need for it to be. Allow me to elucidate. I think the best way to develop a relationship is to become good friends first. If that works out, then you can consider romantic friendship, exclusive dating, and so on. Try this approach, particularly if you are unsure about his sexual orientation.

Ask him if he would like to share some friendly activities such as a game of Wii or pool, a drink at happy hour, watching a movie, and so on. Keep it casual. Be open to friendship. Be truly interested in him as a person and share your own thoughts and ideas freely. What is the right way to approach him? Look for a commonality. Find any little thing that you share in common (same shoes, blue eyes, whatever...) and start talking. Next, offer an invitation to share in some casual activities between friends. This is not about seducing anybody; the idea is to develop a friendship.

As your relationship as friends deepens, so will your mutual trust. A bit later, you may broach the subject of sexuality. Make veiled references by mentioning a gay friend from high school or the topics of gays in the military or gay marriage. Next, gauge how he responds. As soon as you feel at ease, let him know about yourself. This may be the time to come out to him. He will reply by making a similar disclosure if he is gay or bisexual and willing to be open about it. If this is not the case, he should still want to be friends if he is a decent human being.

However, keep your expectations in line. If you like him, you are sure to have fantasized about the possibility of being a couple - even if you are not aware of having done so. However, sexuality, relationships, and friendships can be unclear. There are a number of things that could be happening here:

1. Perhaps he is gay and not ready to say so.
2. Perhaps he is gay, but you are not his type.
3. Perhaps he is straight and homophobic.
4. Perhaps he is straight, but he is OK with being friends with gay men.
5. Perhaps he is gay, and he really likes you! Instead of being consumed with what you want, focus on the reality of the situation.

Sometimes this is hard for gay men to do. We must first assess our sexuality. Then we must make it known in order to find others who share our preferences. Take your time to make friends. Resist the urge simply "get your man". Take your time and truly learn to know your new acquaintance as a friend.