So you signed up to join RainbowChristians (shameless plug: “The premier gay dating site for LGBT Christians”) and created a profile about yourself…
What do you do when a fellow member contacts you?
1. Do not panic. Take a deep breath. Be delighted that you have an admirer, someone who is interested in you enough to initiate a conversation. Consider a message from another user as a compliment and an opportunity.
2. Take note of the person’s nickname (username) and check out his/her
profile, so that you can get a better handle on the person who contacted
you. Does the person’s profile information and photo(s) consistent with
the criteria you entered? Understand that it does not necessarily have
to be a perfect match. There are many qualities that you may not pick
up on from a online profile. Try to be flexible and open, so that you
give yourself sufficient opportunities to connect with others.
3. Be sure to reply to their message. Determine whether or not, you would like to learn more about the person and send a message that conveys your interest or disinterest. Always respond and please be cordial, even if you are not interested. If there is anything worse than being rejected (even if in a gently manner), it is being flat out ignored.
4. Strike
up a conversation over instant message or email, so that you can learn
more about the individual, his or her interests, background, etc. Try
to keep the conversation light and fun and try your best to keep in mind
that a conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue so make sure you
share that talking stick.
5. Do not be in a rush to share your phone number. Use your judgment and try to build up a sense of trust with your admirer before handing out your digits. If possible, give out your cell phone number, as opposed to your home number, since the latter is typically associated with a physical address.
6. If after several conversations you feel you are ready to meet in person, do so in a public place (e.g. local café). No matter how many conversations you have had with your admirer, no matter how well you think you may know the person on the other end of the line, always meet in a public place for your first date.
7. Remember to be yourself. Stay positive, be generous with compliments, and last but not least, have fun!