hi brothers and sister ,

glad to be able to join a discussion group since my actual situation is quite problematic.

i must say that i have always been very spiritual,and being italian i grew up in a catholic enviroment ,i started feeling a special calling to a devoted ministry since i was 15 and my spiritual father thought well to address me to a catholic seminary with a theological faculty so to become an ordaned priest.of course i knew very well i was gay but my spiritual father told me that it was only a wrong impression i had got and even if it had been a real one i didn't have any problems since catholic priests were meant to be celibate and chaste so no reason to worry.but after my graduation and after joining the seminary i started realizing that it was not really a place where callings were nourished and helped to grow up but in 99%of cases only the best chance to find a work and earn people's respect without paying the least price in terms of sexual hookups.of course out of evertone's sight.sorry to be so raw ,but i apologize for my poor engish and  hope not to touch anyone's sensibility when telling my story.in fact i hadn't eve had any form of sexual approach till then,but i was immediately literarily assaulted as soon as i got there.i won't rumble with telling you all i got to see and know all along the single year i spent there,you can get the drift yourself,but after that year,not feeling able to cope with the incoherence everyone seemed more than glad to accept,i left the seminary and jined a public university where i got my phd.

since then i immediately understood that the sentence of the greatest italian poet calling the catholic church in his divine comedy'' holy whore'' was more than true,but christ wasn't responsible for it.so i kept on following a siritual pat on my own blessed by the spirit because from tim to time i met a holy confessor(one over a million)who aware of the situation gave me hints so not to lose any hope and go on.

let's not talk of all those years ,but let's get to the fact that 8 months ago i met a wonderful genuine man whom i fell in love with and since then we have started a new life together even if he lives in the uk and cannot move from there ,and i live in italy and cannot move myself as well for many reasons,but just think that there hasn't been  single day in which we haven't talked for hours via messengers throuygh web cam and microphone,and swap a long meaningful letter.

of course we use to find the time to spend a couple of weeks together from time to time,and he found in me the impulse to find out how deeply he had felt to accept god's love into his life without ever realizing it,so he has started to attend an anglican church in his town so to be baptized.

on my side i felt more than compelled to reciprocate god's gift even more than before but i am far from every possible gay friendly church and after finding online a list of mcc churches in europe i dowloaded every possible material from their home sites and read tons of books about their history and theology.so i started feeling like talking to a real minister and sent some emails to four mcc reverends in the uk since i am there from time to time so to ask advices and some professional discernment about many issues regarding my calling which i cannot deal with here,but email after email i never got a single reply.

how deceived i felt after it,but how hopeful i feel to find someone who may help me by talking to me and help me to address so many issues i feel compelled to solve in order to reply to my persnal calling.

and al of a sudden ,while surfing the web,i got here,and here i am posting this long story so to find someone wh may be of help in connecting me with a reverend or a minister who can give me a hand .taking into account that i can talk in presence only from time to time and the uk would be the closest place to do it ,but through letters and every kind of messenger it could be done without any problem meanwhile.

may the holy spirit inspire someone so to give me a hand and i promise a daily prayer for all those who are into this group,as a symbol of spiritual connection and brotherhood.

if it can be of use my email is nowaytofoolmearound@yahoo.it.

thanks for reading and be blessed.andrew